My house changed. The gates n doors were repainted, the living room is added with one set of television, a really big one..haha..n the CNY decoration of course..these changes are good and they give the warmth of a home to me..especially when I saw a pair of slipers my mum bought specially for me to be wore inside the house...thank you mummy! I love you! =D but there's still things that didn't change: my room-remain as many stuffs as how it used to be. LOL
It' 2012. I'm 19 years old now. I had live almost 2 decades in this world as a human being. How many percent of my life had gone? 20%? 50? or 90%? How much longer will I live? How many decades more do I have? Is it true that 2012 will be the end of the world? No one knows...but who cares? muahaha...I'll just live like I'm dying..Do whatever I feel like doing, experience whatever I've never tried before, ask whatever I wanna know without hesitation..No matter it sounds stupid or I'll look childish, but that's the true me...and I know that if I don't learn it from now, i'll look even more childish and immature if I ask it later..Why delay? Talk about delay..yea..I admit that I'm someone who loves to delay work...I'll work at the eleventh hour. Every time and on everything. Which makes me hate myself..bah..because I'll always end up blaming myself for not doing it earlier...It's my mid-sem test next Monday..and yet I'm still relaxing here...Though there's lots and lots of assignments...n i have not even touch on it yet...Sounds really bad, huh? and things become worse when I'm still sitting at here to write this post, right? LOL
Lack of time. Is it an excuse? Yes, it is. Know that I shouldn't have wasting my time anymore for time is gold. Time and tides wait for no man. Those are the sayings that are always be heard, but how much it actually effective by merely listening to it? Lately, I've been really wasting a lot of time...wasted a lot of time being emotional, wasted a lot of time thinking stuffs that I shouldn't have started to think of, wasted a lot of time doing things that made myself tired, wasted a lot of time sleeping after that...I had just wasted a lot of time.
My classmate reminded on me that day, we just left 3 months to be together. He reminded me not to be upset, not to be angry, not to fight, not to hate from now on. He got the point there. I should treasure the 3 months time left in KMM and enjoy every seconds to the fullest for I know KMM is gonna be one of the most meaningful place in my life and time spent here will also be one of the most precious and unforgettable one.
I've learnt a lot in KMM. Remembered that I first reached KMM, how much I used to suffer from homesickness and new environment for I'm a kinda dependent child in the family as I'm the youngest. From someone who don't wash the clothes herself, who don't iron the clothes herself, who don't always wash the dishes herself, who don't fold her clothes herself, who don't say thank you often, who don't realize how innocent and naive she is, who is shy to meet guys, who is shy to talk, who is shy to ask, to become someone who is in the opposite way..pretty ashamed to tell it all here but I have to admit..for they are some of my achievements in my life..hahaha...xD they might seem small n weightless to you, but they are somehow some heavy experiences which lay deep in my mind.
I've learnt to say thank you more often,
I've learnt to be more grateful,
I've learnt to be more happy,
I've learnt to be more appreciative,
I've learnt to be more polite,
I've learnt to be more obedient,
I've learnt to be more helpful,
I've learnt to be more cooperative,
I've learnt to be stronger mentally and physically,
I've learnt to be more understanding,
I've learnt to be more caring and being cared,
I've learnt to realize how many people around me loves me truly,
I've learnt not to give up that easily,
I've learnt to stand up when I fall,
I've learnt not to fall easily,
I've learnt to forget and forgive,
I've learnt to be less secretive,
I've learnt to be less sensitive..
There are so many kind of people in this world..this world is like a stage and everyone is an actor, a professional one..Some performed like how their script were but some performed their true stories. Sometimes, a person's acting skill is just too perfect to be differentiated if it's reality or drama. Sometimes, I just don't really understand the performances. What are the actors were trying to tell? What are the messages that they want the audiences to know? And why are the actors act in that way?
Why do life have to be like this? For variety is the spice of life? then I think my life is really got spiced up. Haha. It is 'spiced' with:
Chili when the atmosphere is filled with hatred;
Salt when things went wrong;
Bitterguard when you know something sad, and feel bad, really bad;
Ajinomoto (MSG) when you realized how bad it affects you after it made your life taste better,
Lemon juice when the atmosphere is filled with jealousy;
Wasabi when you feel like crying,
Drug when you feel so high and just want it more even though you know it hurts;
Egg when everything is going right and you just love it;
Sugar when you know how many people around you are caring of you at the end of the day.
Let bygones be bygones. That's what I always tell others but recently, I've been telling myself over and over again. Starting all over again seems to be the only solution when things were ruined really bad-can't be fixed. This time, just not gonna put high hopes again for the higher hopes you're having,the greater disappointment you'll suffer later. Nevertheless, lowering your expectations just make you to get a lot easier to be happy! =D All the best and good luck for the new beginning! Have a healthy, happy and beautiful dragon year! Happy Chinese New Year! ^^
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